Changing My Heart

Beba SchlottmannOther Writings Leave a Comment

I was listening to the song “Who You Are” by the contemporary Christian music group 4 Him. This has been a favorite song to me for some time now. I decided to recite the words to myself while listening to the song. There is just something about reciting the words to a meaningful song; it takes you beyond the melody to a deep place. Today, while listening to this song in my heart I could sense I was having a God and I moment.

If you’d like to hear the song and read the lyrics got to

I almost choked up every time I got to the line…” Who You are is all I’ll ever want to be…” Ever since I can remember I wanted nothing more than to be as close to God as humanly possible. But just as passionate as my desire for Him has been, so has my indifference been at times.

There are dark places in my heart I try to keep isolated from God as if He didn’t know or as if He couldn’t see through the thick wall of pretensions, doubt, fear, and stubbornness, among other works of the flesh I sometimes cultivate, willing or unwillingly. Here’s the thing; I say I love God and want to be like Him, but my behavior shows differently. I clearly understand Paul when he wrote in Romans 7:15 (New Living Translation)

I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.

The good news is; God is constantly changingme and bringing me out of those dark places, until I am closer to who He is and not to whom I am. Who I am can only bring me calamity and failure, but who He is will bring me honor and hope. I feel great comfort in my spirit when I think of the fact that when I stand before God, it is His son’s righteousness that’ll cover me and make me acceptable to Him. We all know too well that our own righteousness is as filthy rags before our awesome God. It is because of Christ, God can look at you and me and not turn away in disgust and disappointment. Because of his righteousness we are even acknowledged.

American best selling author, Anne Lamott once said something interesting about grace; “I do not understand the mystery of grace-only that it meets us were we are but does not leave us where it found us (” That is God’s grace; unmerited favor! It takes us wretched and broken and sets us up in high places. How overwhelmingly beautiful is that?

The fact that we have absolutely nothing of value to God and yet he desires fellowship with us, should make us want him more. In 2 Corinthians 5:21 (New Living Translation) the Apostle Paul says,

For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.

Again we see grace at work through Christ on our behalf. What an amazing gift we’ve been given in Christ! Because he took upon himself our sin, God is willing to draw us closer to who He is. It is indeed amazing to think that the God of the universe is constantly changing your heart in order to reveal more of himself to you and as a result to the world around you.

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