When the Birds Leave the Nest…

Beba SchlottmannInspirational, Other Writings, Uncategorized 2 Comments

When my first child was born, I had this overwhelming sense of responsibility and care. I thought I would have this child forever and that I would need to plan my entire life around him. Every time I looked into his deep blue eyes, I thought of nothing else except how much I love him and that it was now my duty to protect him from any harm. Then, his brother came along and that feeling reached to new levels. I obsessed over the simplest tasks like doing their laundry, preparing their favorite meals, and making sure they had the toys they wanted. I played with them, prayed with them, and did all those things moms do to prop them up and help them be seen as “cool” among their peers.

I thought they would always need my input in everything and that they would be with me forever — but then they grew up. As much as I tried to protect them from heartache and the struggles of life, they experienced hardship on their own. When they were ready, the left home to pursue their own aspirations, traveling and forming relationships with people from different cultures, races, and genders. In that sense, they have been paying homage to their upbringing in an international household.

Time after time, I reminisce about older days when we had our meals together, went on road trips, and served at church as a family. I do feel nostalgic considering where we are now with everyone going in different directions. It makes me cognizant of how very different life is today. Thankfully, we still have occasional meals together and we visit each other often. Our conversations are different, deeper in nature, and perhaps more meaningful. They are much more mature with a well-built faith and a profound sense of duty.

Parenting has taught me (and keep in mind, this may be different for others) that when our birds leave the nest, it is not necessarily as an act of rebellion, but out of necessity for growth. After all, parents will eventually pass, and their offspring need to learn to do things on other own. I suppose that is what we call “adulting.” Today, when I look at my sons, I realize that they are not perfect. But in my eyes, they are certainly and forever my precious boys.

Parents, I will say this and I pray you understand my heart: it is okay to let our children go when they are ready. But, most importantly, it is ok to not be needed as much as when they were kids. If anything, that should be a testimony of productive parenting. So, pat yourself on the back because you have done a great job! Your sons and daughters will never judge you for restraining yourself as you watched them leave the nest. The best thing you can do for your progeny is to empower them to face life and to move on to build their own nests.

One day as you visit and watch them drowning in dirty laundry, struggling with dinner plans, changing diapers and dealing with homework duties, you will be able to excuse yourself, head home, sit on your comfy chair, and while savoring your favorite cup of tea, you will relish in what seemed so few and far between on those days in the nest — peace and quiet.

Comments 2

  1. My daugther -the only girl between 5 grandchildren- will soon turn 15. When I see her pictures of when she was younger and needed me to do her hair, dress her and take her by her little hands to walk to places, I see that now she does her own hair, pick up her own clothes “not all the time though 😆 ” and walk to places without me, but with her friends. I understand that soon, she too will leave the nest, and all I can do is continue to pray that she will find her way in life, and be happy living a full-filled life with God in her life. Thank you Beba, because although I can feel this day is approaching soon (and I starting to feel it) 😥, however, I understand and accept that it is the Circle of Life, and I trust she will be fine.

    1. Post

      Vivi, All we can ado is love them, train them well, and allow them the space to fly out of the nest, knowing that they will make it. We have no control over the rest.

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