About 2 ½ years ago, I lost my job and went into seclusion. At the time, unemployment was beginning to rise and I found myself utterly confused about the future. I believe I was becoming depressed because there were days I didn’t want to get up.
At the time, my sweet husband was the happiest man alive, because he enjoys me being at home in the mornings to share breakfast with him, and he absolutely considers it a perfect day when upon arrival from a busy day in the office, he finds his wife and children already setting the dinner table in a very clean and organized home. Well, who doesn’t like that?
I don’t quite know why I find it so hard to be a house-wife, but I do. Is not the wife/parent part I dread. I guess I just really enjoy working out of the home. I’m sure I am not the only woman out there who loves to work outside of the home…right? This situation has been a source of so much guilt for me personally for years and I’m very conscious no one imposed that guilt trip on me but myself. If my kids did not perform well at school, I automatically blame myself for not being the perfect stay at home mom.
My husband is the most supportive man I know. For years I’ve struggled with my choice to work rather than stay home, and all along he’s held my hand and encourage me to do what makes me happy. Thankfully, my children have grown up to be great young men who still have all their fingers and toes and can count and spell rather well. They are healthy and creative and above all things, they don’t resent me.
So, I am not the perfect mom; one who bakes cookies for the neighborhood kids. I’m not a part of the PTA or one of those wonderful soccer moms. But I love my kids and I absolutely adore my husband! What I lack in some areas, I make up for in other areas. I don’t believe my family is dysfunctional, I believe we are a success story! We are not a made for TV family who’s got it all together. We are complicated, weak and yet strong, and we know how to laugh at each other and inspire each other with simple gestures and plenty of love.
My time off work didn’t last long. I was offered a job by an amazing company soon after. And off I went once again, out there to earn a living for my family. Today I was at work and I was thinking about my boys firsts (first steps, first words, first boo boo, first day of school, etc…) and it dawned on me, somehow I’ve managed to be there for every single one of those special moments. I am so blessed!